So. Um. I guess I've had this urge in the bottom of my stomach for a while to actually do this. P: I started writing a fanfiction today based on Durarara!!. I'm going to go to hell for doing this, but, I'm not even shipping Shizaya in it. ;-; Don't hate me, please. I just had this amazing idea of
'what if there was already an established relationship between Shizuo and Izaya, but Shizzy doesn't really find what he wants in it and goes searching for something elsewhere?' and then that lead to. . . Well. . . Me getting word for my laptop and writing this.
No smut, because I can't write smut for the life of me. But I'll make up for it in fluff? :'D Oh um, here's the first chapter. Normally I don't share this stuff and just let them collect dust somewhere, but I really want to know how this goes, because I might post this to FF.net if you guys think I should. And, it's chapterized. No one shots from Milky. P: So here you go.
Oh and feedback and stuff is wanted. TAT Never written a fanfic before. Ever. I hope I'm in character still.
DEAD AND GONE
By Meulk
Chapter OneThe sky had a bit of an overcast look to it, with multiple shades of grey stretching as far as the eye could see, which was pretty far when you were standing on top of a building with your boyfriend. The name’s Shizuo Heiwajima, and I’m know as one of the toughest guys in Ikebukuro. Of course, there’s Simon who matches me in strength pretty well, and then there’s those damned gangs that just get in the way. Last I heard there were three. . . What were they called, the Yellow Scarves, Dollars, and then that creepy Saika or something?
Oh yes, I have a boyfriend now, too. Orihara Izaya, another dangerous person in Ikebukuro, he’s also known as ‘The Information Broker’ to those that only use him as a source of information. He’s proud of what he’s done, and in truth, I’m proud of him too, in a way.
There are people that would wonder how the two of us had ever gotten together. Well, it’s actually pretty simple. With the hate going at it all the time, I soon found that there was a
reason on behind why whenever I get my hands on the flea, that I never could bring myself to crush his puny bones in my hand right then and there. The reason being that I had a bit of a crush on him. It was almost exactly like a school-girl crush, too. I look back I can see the signs weren’t very obvious.
But this is Izaya that we’re talking about, here. Whether you want him to or not,
he will find out. It’s almost scary having him as your boyfriend and it’s almost terrifying when you get into a fight over something, and he uses that annoying brain of his against you- I hate it so much! Why is he so good at absorbing information? I’ve never been exactly ‘the best’ at school, I’ll admit, but it was better than nothing. Hell, it got me all sorts of jobs that I don’t think anyone else could get, right?
“Beautiful, isn’t it, Shizu-chan?” Did I ever mention how much I still hate that stupid nickname he’s given me? No? Well I do, I absolutely despise the thing. In fact, whenever he uses it, I feel my blood start to boil with the distaste of being called
shizu-chan I mean, how hard is it to just say Shizuo? I’d even settle for Shizzy at best, but no. I get called Shizu-chan by him on a daily basis, and it’s something I’ve felt I’ve been forced to suck up.
“Hmmph. It looks. . . Fine.” The words come out like a muttered statement, earning me a good look from Izaya. He frowns, almost like he’s guessing that there’s something up with the way I’ve been acting recently, but goes back to watching over the city.
Sometimes I wonder if he loves his precious humans more than me.
Chapter Two“Look at how they’re crawling around down there, Shizu-chan! Oh how I love them ~” Even his sing-song voice was starting to get on my nerves. This wasn’t unlike me, to want to throw my fist into the nearest concrete wall for some kind of outlet. But I have noticed a change in how I’ve looked at my dearest Izaya. I don’t feel that heaviness in my heart any longer, what I feel now is more acute to acquaintanceship, possibly friends.
In my defense, I don’t even really know that much about the man. For example, he knows everything about me, and all I know about him is that he’s some fatty tuna loving, information absorbing, information broker that no one really likes being in the presence of. When I say that he knows everything about me, and I mean
everything, it’s almost to a stalker level. And at times, it’s just annoying. For example, he once told me that my blood type was AB. I didn’t even know that! And then here he is, spouting off random facts that he seems to think he knows about me.
It’s embarrassing, really. Whenever he asks if I know anything about him, I try to change the subject. It’s easy, actually, he’ll ask me something along the lines of
‘what’s your favorite thing about me, Shizu-chan?~’ and then I’ll try to reply with a simple,
“I know you like fatty tuna. . . Why don’t we go get some?” Yeah, I’m smooth like that.
“I mean, look at how that woman is just casually walking when she’s about to get mugg-” I had to cut Izaya off right there before things started to get sadistically interesting for the raven haired man. I honestly did not want to know about how there was a woman just stories under us that was about to have her life put into jeopardy while the two of us were just. . . Chilling on the top of a fucking building! They could do something, make sure that the woman didn’t get hurt or anything, but no, Izaya just watched like a puppy with a new playtoy. It disgusted me.
“So you’re just going to sit there? You’re not going to make sure that she’ll be okay? What’s wrong with you, Izaya?!” Izaya simply turned just in time to see me leave out of the roof entrance, heading straight towards the nearest phone. There was no way I was going to intervene with whatever was about to go on down there, I’d lose it and toss a vending machine at one of those guys. In fact, as I picked up the phone, I could feel it crack and split underneath the grip I had it on. Yes, I was getting pissed at the thought of a woman about to lose her hard earned money to a group of men that were too lazy to make it themselves. It pissed me off, royally. But then again, why would the beast known as Shizuo Heiwajima care?
Well, that woman was awfully familiar. In fact, she looked like the milk lady from elementary school. She was the one that handed out the milk to Kasuka and I. Yes, I was so ashamed that I let my anger get the best of me and that I accidentally hurt her. But I whited out! What else could I have done besides just look down at myself and wonder
‘where did that strength come from?’ and then look at the bodies scattered around me. . .
Just thinking about it made me crush the phone like some sort of juice pouch, except that this was a phone. I’ll ask Izaya to pay- No. I’ll pay for it myself, with my own money, earned from the job that I’ve kept pretty steady for the past few days. That’s exactly what I’ll do.
Before I could register anything that was happening, I was standing over three collapsed bodies, a scared woman was standing dumbfounded behind me, there were cops everywhere, and Izaya was talking rather calmly to what looked like the sheriff. And, even though Izaya held a calm composition, I could tell that he was actually a bit worried.
It took some time, but the people finally got off our asses and told us to be more careful while taking the muggers to prison. The woman thanked me and went on her way home. Izaya and I were alone again, and I could tell from the vibes in the air that he wasn’t at all happy with how I acted.
“Shizuoh,” he made damn sure to make a point that he was mad at me,
“Just what the fucking hell were you thinking when you went completely apeshit over there?” I couldn’t help but glare down at the sidewalk while he scolded me. It wasn’t like he was my father! Hell, I didn’t even know what to call him at this point, but calling him my boyfriend would be like a nice slap to the face right about now.
Chapter ThreeNow I had enough of Izaya’s shit. It was really starting to get on my last, and I do mean last, nerve here. Who was
he to tell me what to do? Question my thinking, and now he was going to
scold me about it? Since when did he turn into my Mother? Oh, that’s right, never. He had said he loved me before, and I do admit; at that point there was no one in my life that meant more to me other than Izaya, but as time was ticking on with the two of us being together. . . It just felt wrong. Like we weren’t yin and yang as the stories about people similar to us go. Instead, he was still the annoying flea, the annoying parasite taking control of my life moment by moment, and I wanted this vaccine.
But then again, Kasuka seemed happy that I finally landed a solid job, that I finally found someone in my life that meant almost as much as he did to me- and not in that incest way, as we do share a brotherly love that I will never grow tired of. What would happen when I lost it again, as I have noticed that while with Izaya, I was finally able to keep a calm head. I think he puts something in my food when I’m not looking, because I don’t ever remember being this calm. Hell must really be frozen over if I were to ever look at this man with love and lust. I can’t do that anymore, and before I knew it, my hand closed into a fist as I stopped walking completely. It took him a moment to register on my mood, as I made it clear that I was far from a happy camper as of right now.
Suddenly, I threw my fist into the wall next to the two of us, making a nice sized hole to leave Izaya to gape at it momentarily.
“I never get used to your ability to do that, Shizu-Chan.” The use of the nickname coming back made an inhuman- then again, he never called me a human to begin with –growl coming from my lips. I was really starting to get pissed off at this flea now, and I don’t know why. It’s just like all those years of putting up with it went to waste this very day. Like seeing him mock the milk lady was the pushing point for me.
“Stop it with that god damn nickname, flea!” I made my tone go the extra mile of sounding legitimately pissed off, the tone I used to use before chasing him around Ikebukuro. The tone that nowadays, made him cringe subconsciously. Although, he may not have noticed, I sure as hell did. And I was getting tired of that nickname; it was a girl’s nick name for crying out loud! And now people on the streets were getting the balls to use it, just before I dealt with them at least.
“I have a fucking penis, for god’s sake! Start treating me like it!”“What’s wrong with it? I seem to adore it, Shizu-chan~” Oh how I wanted to hit that smirk off his face. I just. . . Wanted to toss the nearest thing at him right now! Twisting my head to the side, I found a cigarette vending machine, and almost angrily snorted. Of course we’d be having a fight in front of one of those things. But there was no way in hell I would throw one at him. Even I have my violence limits, as, no matter how much people would like to disagree, I do hate violence. I try to stay away from it as much as possible. But even I have my limits, which happen quite frequently, where I white-out and let the anger take control. And it likes to take control, especially over my body.
Robotically, I walked over and inserted a few bucks into the slot. Then I pressed a button, and a package of my favorite cigarettes popped out. I should never have even thought of quitting- I did this for the stress that the flea, and the rest of Ikebukuro, caused. Why did I even put thought into the silly idea of quitting the one habit that kept me from losing my mind completely? What kind of dumbass did I become since I became a victim to this thing called
love? What the hell was this ‘love’? Surely it wasn’t what I felt for Izaya, because the undying need to punch someone’s face in could not be considered as such a thing; ever.
“I’ve always hated that nasty habit. It does horrible things to the lungs, you know. Turns them an unappetizing color, makes them shrivel up like an old person. Tsk, Shizu-chan. I thought that you’d learn from my many lessons to you. I mean, you could get lung cancer!” He just went on and on as I tore open a section of the packet, and shook out one of the many cigarettes it held inside. Reaching into my pant pocket, I pulled out the first lighter-feeling thing my hand came in contact with, and I flipped that open and lit it before taking a nice, deep huff.
“And you do know that I don’t give a shit?” The need to hit him repeatedly with the yield sign standing teasingly close to us slowly edged away as I puffed out the smoke to the side, being polite enough as to not give him second hand smoke. Although, maybe I should have blew it right into that perfect, flawless face. Maybe then he’d die of second hand lunch cancer or something along those lines. If only.
“It’s your funeral~” He was starting to make me wish I was smoking more than one cigarette at a time, I was so close to snapping on him. Whiting out again today and giving it all to my anger. Letting it take full control over me for the time being and finally see him get hit upside the head with something. Or would he dance out of the way and slice me with his switchblade again?
There was only one way to find out, I suppose.
My hand closed around the metallic pole, giving me shivers almost immediately. Oh, it had been a long time since I had closed my hand around one of these and not whited out completely. I’d enjoy this, I really would. Smashing this parasite’s face in suddenly made its way to the top of my agenda, and it was the one thing I probably missed the most for the past couple of days. How I longed for this moment.
“Do it, Shizuo. I dare you to.” He put up his hands in a makeshift shrug, almost going
‘come at me, bro’, which only pissed me off farther. How dare he mock me- of all things –when I was about to bash his fucking face in! I could tell that he was judging me right now, making a mental note to sign me up for anger management when we get back home to his apartment, a place I was not going to go to tonight. The last place I wanted to be was in a bed with him, when I would be fuming from this for a long time now.
“I will, and I’ll take so much pleasure in doing this-“ before I could finish my sentence, the street sign came ripping out of the pavement, and I received a tap on the shoulder. The pissed off expression probably wasn’t obvious enough to another one of my many fans, so I turned my head to see who it was to come face-to-face with another blonde.
Much shorter than me, I had to almost lean back to get an actual look at him. His hair was dyed, but as was mine, so I didn’t judge. He wore a white hoodie and jeans, and had one of his ears seemingly pierced. . . It was adorable, really. All of him was. But he looked so much younger than me, it would be completely and utterly wrong for me to look at someone at such an age difference like this. But I did anyway, fuck society. No one likes them anyway.
“Calm down, Shizuo.”My name coming out of that mouth sounded almost as adorable, and- Wait. How did he know my name, I don’t recall ever telling him what my name was. . . So since when did he get a hold of it?
Chapter Four“Yeah, Shizu-chan~ You should listen to the kid.” Izaya spat out the words, you could see the distaste in how I was looking at the kid. And the kid gave Izaya the same look, but there was another behind him; two others, to be exact. A girl, in fact she looked extremely familiar, and a boy who looked equally as much. I had seen those two around town often enough, but my focus was shifted back to the caramel haired boy almost immediately.
“And you know my name how?” The yield sign was forgotten, dropped somewhere in my staring at the younger being, and I thing Izaya shoved it away angrily- Jealously, almost. Though I took no notice to what the parasite did now, as this golden eyed boy had all of my focus.
“Well, anyone that doesn’t is either not from around here, or they’re just stupid in general. . .” So he was saying I was famous or something? I mean, I knew that I was among one of the strongest, if not the strongest, in Ikebukuro, but the fact that people knew my name was a bit. . . It was kind of a culture shock. I was known around here, by name? I was important enough for people to know me like that, when I barely knew anyone standing around me right this moment?
Now that I took a moment to rip my gaze away from this adorable figure, I did notice that the only people left on the street were the five of us. Everyone with brains probably left at the very sight of me getting pissed off. How smart they were, to leave at such a thing.
“But really Shizuo calm down. There shouldn’t be any need for you to have to hurt anyone right now.” An audible grunt of disapproval was heard as Izaya suddenly stepped forward, obviously jealousy was one thing he was bad at hiding, as I could see every twinge of it in his crimson red eyes. But he did look like he, too, was about to lose his temper with the kid. I never knew that Izaya even had a temper.
“How about you three kids run along now and leave the arguments to the adults, yeah?” All traces of his usual sing-song tone was gone, almost making his voice sound barren in comparison as to how he would usually talk to someone. . . It wasn’t normal to what I was used to, and I looked from the golden haired boy to him.
“Yeah, Masaomi-kun, we should get going. . .” the black haired boy’s voice was barely above a whisper, like he was afraid to speak too loud in possible attempts at angering me again. But it was obvious that I wasn’t about to get angry for some time now. It was weird, being snapped from my white rage like that. But I had gotten a name to the face I dedicated to memory, Masaomi. He was that Kida kid, I had heard about him.
“Sure Mikado. Why don’t we go and look at those beautiful girls instead?~” And with that the three were gone, Kida dragging Mikado, I had decided to dedicate them both to memory, to the group of girls by the fountain. And then they were gone.
“What the fuck was that, Shizuo?” Izaya made no attempt to hide any amount of anger from me. He sounded quite pissed off with the fact that I was just caught staring at a someone other than him, and the jealousy was obvious in his tone with how he sounded everything but pleased with the events that had just taken place.
I guess I will get the pleasure out of seeing his face bashed in after all.
Chapter FiveI turned my head and looked at Izaya;
really looked at him this time. He had those blood red eyes that used to captivate me, something I would sell my soul for. His pale skin shone in the now moonlight, seeing as the sun had set some time ago, and then atop his, what should be huge, head was raven black hair. I used to adore these features of him, used to want nothing more than to wake up every day and just look at this. I mean sure, he was still a handsome young man and all, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something missing. That there was something I might not find again.
And that just pissed me off.
I mean, I didn’t want things to return to the things they were. I didn’t want to go back to ripping out a vending machine, go back to yelling his name and making the people on Ikebukuro run for cover. If there was anything I wanted any less, it was that. But, then again, I never was able to get a firm hold of that dreaded temper I have.
“Whatever the fuck I want it to be. That’s what that was.” I hissed at him, not really wanting it to come out as so, but it did nonetheless. Why did things have to be like this between us? It was like this never ending battle between wanting to crush his face and wanting to just pull him up and kiss him. It was annoying as fuck.
“I don’t want you to talk to Kida ever again.” I could detect the jealousy in his voice from a mile away. That was the amusing thing;
he was jealous for the first time in his life. Izaya always gets what he wants, that was the moral I lived by when being with him. That was the moral I would sometimes go out of my way to break. He acted like a child sometimes.
“I don’t recall appointing you to be my father.”“Is that how you look at relationships now, Shizu-chan?”“Just ours.”“Oh really now?”“Yep.”It went like that until we reach his- no
our apartment. I took out the key and slid it in through the small hole, and the turned it to the left, pushing the door open. Izaya let out a snort behind me, as it took me a little more than usual since I was trying to be careful to not break it down or anything.
“Is there something you’d like to say, Izaya?”He took a minute, weighing his choices. I had to roll my eyes at this, before he finally opened his mouth. The moment those words left though, I couldn’t help but wish he had taken them back.
“Maybe you should sleep on the couch tonight, Shizu-chan.” Like hell I was going to be the one on the couch! He was just as much to blame about this as I was. If not more, since he was the one overreacting about the fact that I looked at Kida.
“I’ll sleep on the couch as soon as you grow up.” I mumbled angrily, walking into the kitchen and standing so that the long table was between us. If I had a rage, I didn’t want to be near him. I didn’t want him to get hurt. No matter how much I may say that I hate him, I did once love him, and that counted for something, seeing as he was able to bring himself to love me back.
“Oh, but Shizu-chan ~ We both know that’s never going to happen ~” He took great pride in his immaturity. And I do mean he took a lot of pride in it. It made him happy to the point of it being near unhealthy.
“Then why don’t you sleep on the couch? No, wait. I have a better idea.” And it was with these words that I pushed past the table, and half stormed into the bedroom that we shared. I took out a suitcase that resembled more of a duffle bag that I had, and placed it on the neatly made bed. I then zipped it open and flipped up the lid.
“Where are you going?”I didn’t bother to answer him. Instead I walked over to the closet and pulled out a few bartender outfits, enough to last me about a week. A week was all I needed to get my head straightened out. As I turned around, the bartenders hanging limply from my arms, I was pushed up against the wall.
“Fucking answer me.” He snarled at me-
snarled at me –to answer his question. Are you kidding me? He just had to know everything, all the way down to the littlest detail. It annoyed me to no end, too. Just as everything he did.
“How, Izaya? How do I answer this? To be honest, I don’t know where I’m going to be heading off to either! But right now, anywhere is better than here!” And with that I pushed him to the side, though he dodged it as always by ducking and just stepping to the side, and watched me place my bartender outfits in my suitcase.
“So this is how you plan to deal with it? Run off for a week to god knows where and leave me here by myself? What makes you think I’ll stay faithful to this relationship? Who knows, maybe my secretary would be better in bed than you.” He just went on and on, trying to taunt me into the staying with him. After a year or two with living with him, I’ve learned how to block his annoying voice out. I think I’ve gotten quite good at it.
“Have fun with that!” I yelled at him as I slung the black bag over my shoulder and started making my way out. As I walked out the door, I felt something sting the back of my arm. I turned my head to see a few drops of blood being flicked off of his switchblade, before holding it back out to me.
“I’m not going to fight you, Izaya.”“That never held you back before, Shizuo!”“That’s because I’m different now. Good night, Izaya. And if you slice me with that switchblade again, I will guarantee that you lose it.”With that being said, I walked out of the apartment. He didn’t bother to stop me, because he knew I was already gone.
Chapter SixI had no clue where I was going, and to be honest, I didn’t want to tell Izaya because even I had no clue as to where I was going. But it wasn’t like I was going to tell him anyway. Why would I? I wanted nothing to do with Izaya as of right now. I was afraid that if I confronted him about this, the both of us would leave with more than just a cut on the back of my arm and an empty bed.
In fact, where the hell was I right now?
I looked around, and nothing seemed exactly. . . Right. I hadn’t been here very often, definitely not enough for me to be able to figure out where to go on my own. And it was getting rather late. I was getting pretty tired, especially with him doing nothing but walking around trying to calm my head for the past couple of hours.
“God dammit Izaya!” I bellowed out before dragging my fist back, and then forwards, into the concrete wall of the building in the alley I was in. That raven haired man was truly fucking with my head. I was truly getting angry with it, and I finally had enough of it.
Now it was time for me to get my head back on straight. I was certain that it wouldn’t take me longer than a week for me to get back to my old self. But why was I acting so different around Izaya all of a sudden? And why was the lingering thought of Kida still in my head?
The way he said my name. . . Those chocolate eyes. . . The bleached auburn hair. . . I wanted all of him, every inch of that pale, blonde’s skin to be mine and no one else’s. But, what I wanted almost never came true. For example, I wanted Izaya to move in with me, in my cozy apartment. Oh no, Izaya wouldn’t stand for that. I had to move into his apartment just to make him happy. That was what our relationship was about, Izaya Izaya Izaya. Never was it about Shizuo.
Ugh.
“. . . Shizuo?”It was that voice, that way he said my name, it sent a series of shivers go up my spine. Kida Masaomi. I turned my head, and I’ll be damned if it was my head playing a trick on me, but Kida truly was gracing me with his presence, and that black haired kid, Mikado, was nowhere in sight. Perfect.
“That is my name.” I mumbled, unable to really make myself sound. . . Well, happy. I felt more depressed than I should be. Almost like this didn’t feel right.
“What are you doing out here? And. . . Why do you have a bag?” He questioned me, and I had to take a moment to recall what the town knew. They knew that Izaya and I were dating, and they knew that I had moved in with them last night. I guess luck was not in my favor today.
“Izaya and I got into a fight.” I mumbled, hearing Kida gasp when he saw the hole my fist made in the concrete above where I was sitting. I just sat there, waiting for him to collect his thoughts on what had happened and then he opened his mouth, about to say something before I cut him off.
“Yeah, I made that hole.”“I wasn’t worried about the hole, just wondering what you were doing out here; In an alley; In the dark.” I looked over at him, and he pushed his hands into the center pocket of his hoodie. Oh how adorable he looked standing like that.
But I didn’t want to take advantage of him or anything. I wasn’t that type of person, I wouldn’t-
“I don’t have anywhere else to go. . .” –maybe I was like that. I did not want to take advantage of him though. That should be the last thing on my mind.
“Um. You can come crash at my place while things clear up back at your house.” He shrugged like it was no big deal, and then turned on his heel. I stared dumbfounded after him; It was going to be that easy? No real work at all? What was this?
“Are you coming? Or would you rather stay in this alley and get mugged?”“Oh, um, coming ~” I said as I got up and followed after him like a lost puppy.
